He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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