i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
