i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just gargled with NyQuil
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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