you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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