I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize