i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Two words: nipple clamps
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