Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
