I like to think it a success when the cops are called
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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