i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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