i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
