If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
