i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just high enough for therapy.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
