I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
