I have demons in me.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize