i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
me + whiskey = a bad person
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
