I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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