one two three fourrrrnication!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
