The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
