I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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