mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
