she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
