That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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