RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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