I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
