Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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