You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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