these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
