i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
love makes seman taste better
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
