i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
