He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
