maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
