is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
