Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Randomize
