just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
