so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
