Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
