There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize