Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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