I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
