I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
