i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Randomize