your thong is hanging out like whoa
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
