The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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