Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
