dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
PANTIES FOUND
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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