turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
