so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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