Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Do you still have your period?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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