Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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