sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
