So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
