i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
