**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
