Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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