So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
