So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
