Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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