it hurts more in the daytime
honey bunches of taint.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
