I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
