Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You can't just leave with hair like that
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
