What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize