well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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