How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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